Day 9: I am thankful that one of my kids has made it successfully through puberty and his college years, alive and well, and a little wiser. Here's hoping the 2nd one follows suit. It's a tough time for kids as they develop their own self image, and I am not sure how social media is going to impact that self worth. It is a time to learn new boundaries that I never had to learn when growing up. Shoot, when I was little we still had a phone with a long cord, and it certainly did not take pictures or allow you to type brazen, often obnoxious captions. So, we muddle through together...navigating this mine field of social media.

Day 8: We had frost a few mornings ago and today it is 80 degrees and sunny. Only along Lake Michigan...she has such mood swings. Today I am thankful that I work from home. There are, no doubt, challenges to working from home...the solitude, staying focused...especially in the winter months. But on a day like today, "Wow!" I was able to start work in my PJs at 6:15am. See my daughter off to school. Well, at 14 she probably would rather I were invisible with just a wallet and car keys, but for me it is nice to see her off. Yes, even when she snarls at me. As computer issues arose, I was able to take an hour long jog along Lake Michigan in the middle of the day as the issues were being resolved by IT. Uh, yeah, I did change out of the PJs first. Fuzzy slippers are not recommended jogging footwear. The great thing was I could come back and immediately get right back to work. Yup, no shower! Yuck, you say? Well, I took one after I finished my day, of course, but the great thing was the run gave me energy to complete the day, gave my foggy head some clarity, and there was no one to witness my sweat or odor. It made me think that we should all have such an opportunity during the work day. I know when I worked in an office, I would eat my lunch at my computer, stay chained to the desk, leaving only for a bathroom break or two. By the end of the day, I would come home exhausted and certainly in no shape to want to exercise.  So, despite the struggle with the solitude of working from home, I have to say, I'm finding a balance that is working for me both mentally and physically.

Day 7: I know it may seem suspect that I have not mentioned being thankful for family, friends, health, etc. However, for my own endeavors I want the gratitude for such people and categories to be much more specific and meaningful, so I am allowing those extra special "thanks" to develop and evolve over time. For today, I am thankful for sense memory, specifically a memory of a special food dish. No, it is not the smell of an apple pie baking in the oven reminding me of my mother cooking in the kitchen. But this dish does remind me of a very special person and a very special time in my life. I am thankful for the Greek dish, tzatziki.

This is not a fancy dish and is most often used as a dip. However, it takes me back to 10th grade. My mother had travelled to Greece on somewhat of a pilgrimage. When she arrived home, things changed rapidly. Within months, my mom was enrolled in a school in Santa Barbara, CA to train as a marriage and family therapist. We quickly packed up the house in Alexandria, VA and drove across country just in time for me to start 11th grade. I was more than up for the adventure. It was exciting, albeit scary. And the one thing I remember us making a lot of was tzatziki....a dish of plain Greek yogurt, fresh dill, garlic, cucumber, salt, and lemon. On a hot day, it was divine.  It reminds me of my energetic, brilliant mother, an amazing adventure, and the continued hope that life can always change on a dime if we allow the universe to guide us.

So, tonight I make some tzatziki...Yummm. The taste takes me back to a wonderful, simpler time in my life when my mom got to worry about all the logistics of the move while all I had to cope with was teenage angst.  Here's to you, Mom!

Day 6: I am thankful for Facebook.

I know, sounds odd, but I believe most of us have this Love-Hate relationship with Social Media. It is often far too consuming of our time, diverting us from leading our real lives, and interacting with the real people in the same room. However, I have to say it is interesting to read the newsfeed and actually see us as a group of humans trending towards the same things at the same time. I'm not even talking about the political aspect but rather just the human experience and how we share our day-to-day lives on Facebook. For instance, 3 months ago 90% of what I posted and saw posted on my newsfeed by others was about the Polar Vortex. It was a frightful, depressing time for a lot of us. Today, almost everyone is posting about their recent 5K they ran, the barbeque they are having, the bike ride they are going on, the flowers they are planting, the concerts they are enjoying.  So, although many of my friends are conservatives and not a bleeding heart liberal like myself, we share life. We share the joys of feeling the warmth of Spring finally arriving, we enjoy having time with family and friends, and enjoying the accomplishment of the graduates as we a . We all seem to strive for good health and time with family and want to share it all with others. People no longer shout from the roof tops, they post it on Facebook. I am thankful that I can connect with my family so far away with such ease and share those silly episodes in daily life that make us snicker and wish we could have shared. Now we can, and for that, yes, I am thankful.

I started this quest on May 13th, developing it, and figuring out what I wanted the next 100 days of my life to be about. The usual hopes and wishes and self-promises come to mind...I started the 60 day challenge at Any Time Fitness, signed up for another 5K, stopped eating sugar and drinking alcohol, watching what I eat, exercising daily, writing again. But something is missing...and then I realized I needed to do two things to make the next 100 days have true life-changing meaning...giving gratitude on a daily basis for something in my life and sharing it. A friend turned me onto this idea...you know who you are, T.

So, Day 1 - May 13th: I was thankful for music. The music we choose is as individual as the clothes we wear and can inspire us to feel better and be strong.

Day 2- May 14th: Tulips blossoming in the garden, better late than never. Music and now flowers...getting stronger.

Day 3- May 15th: Huge day to be thankful...Thanks to my personal trainer, Nikki, for pushing. We can do this...60 day challenge starts!

Day 4- May 16th: Thankful that I made it out of my comfort zone and met some great people last night who share my desire to aspire.

Day 5- May 17th: Pushing the boundaries again and enjoying meeting a group of incredible women. Thankful there are so many interesting people in this world and that we actually have the choice to let them into our hearts if we choose.

So, I am caught up...95 days to go...hopefully toward making these actions part of a new life style...one where I am no longer a mother 24/7, but a viable woman who still, God willing, has time to make a contribution.

As I continue my journey, I hear whispers saying I'm strong. If only they knew...No, if only I knew all along that we all struggle, attempting to be strong. Yesterday, I started facing some of my darkest fears, demons, failures. I've been stuck in this tunnel far too long and would love to feel the warmth of the sun on my skin...the freedom away from this tunnel I have kept myself in for so long. It is a daily struggle, but I am noticing that as I get older my ability to focus on going towards the light is becoming more methodical and consistent. The voices beckoning from behind that drag me back into the dark, damp abyss are becoming far less powerful. I now hear voices in front of me. I am not alone. I do not have to be solitary in my journey but must make a conscious choice each and everyday to move forward, shedding the darkness and the voices that call from it.  I have chosen to accept the new voices into my life, the encouraging voices that promise me that I do not have to travel alone anymore.  It's okay to not be strong and solitary.  I am allowed to find my footing, slowly and deliberately making my journey to the light, accepting that I need to let these kind voices into my life in order to make it there.