Remember these? Did your mom ever make you write one to relatives? The power of the Thank You hit me between the eyes today with the force of a baseball...line drive...and drove it home.

I do not talk about my work much, but it does take up a considerable amount of my life. This month has been especially hard on all of my co-workers and myself with 50+ hours work weeks to meet the end of the third quarter of the year. It takes it toll on everyone from the worker, family, and even the mailman who may carry the brunt of the angry, sleep-deprived worker when she realizes her mail did not get picked up.

And then a small Thank You is uttered by a person in authority. In middle-age, let's face it, we are jaded and not necessarily vested or even trying to get accolades from our employers. In this economy, I guess most of us just hope to keep a decent a paying job without too much "crap" thrown our way. But today a woman I report to uttered those  words in a kind e-mail to a number of us, "Thank you for your hard work!" And I responded in kind, telling her that it was so nice nowadays to hear those words, "Thank you." I think we both realized how basic a kindness it was and how odd that we were both discussing this in a brief, albeit heartfelt, IM.

The true irony was that an hour later, we were all sent as a team a warm "Thank You" from a client for hitting some incredible goals at the end a of an extremely hard quarter. To all managers, parents, coaches, business associates...I will tell you that one "Thank You" can wash away a lot of anxiety and exhaustion and rejuvenate those on the receiving end. The power of the "Thank You" is truly incredible.  Fleeting perhaps, but, nonetheless, powerful nowadays when criticism is far more prevalent.

I have written a lot of my own story and sometimes I think it is time to explore where we are all going. My kids are moving on but they often question my motives and actions. It's funny because the single parents in my audience know full well our motivation and reasons for our actions...our kids. But the kids do not like to acknowledge that, at least not while they are under our roof. Somehow we, as single parents, should have the where-with-all to strike out in an incredible way, make a living, maintain a home, find a new mate, and still inspire the world, while affording our children every expense desired.  Being exhausted and unfocused and perhaps even sad are not viable options but are, nonetheless, often present. And here I fail in every which way. I guess I shouldn't say fail, because in the grown up world I am fairing better off than many, but that is not what my kids see. Not just my kids but kids of my friends going through the very same plight.

So, I want to start looking at where we are going as a society of single parents. I know, nobody wants to admit that it's a reality here to stay, but it is. And I, for one, would have liked a road map to help me and my kids to a healthier transition. While laws are constantly changing regarding divorce and child custody, there is no question in my mind that as laws progressively change, the children are suffering. Yes, the parent who shoulders the brunt of the financial responsibility suffers as well, but I believe that for there to be any change in the system and laws, there needs to be a change in attitude towards responsibility for children. It seems that the parent receiving any support is looked as an unwarranted, overpaid, "welfare" recipient. Well, as a woman in the financial business, I can easily shoot down that theory, but will it matter?

So, I want to explore the changes in our society and how we are acknowledging how our future is being influenced. I will admit, I do not know how a parent can walk away from a child and his/her responsibilities...And I think that is a basic moral obligation. We, as a country, spend a heck of a lot of time and money arguing the viability of a fetus, while we have lots of viable KIDS walking the planet. And maybe to make my kids see me as viable, I want to research this a little further and put my two cents out there, having been through this as a kid and now a single mom. I think our kids deserve more from all of us.

It has been 3 days of pounding and yelling, "Necessito cerveza!" Yeah, me too, Buddy! Outside of my window where I work from home, has become home to a beehive of roofers, scrambling up and down 3 stories. I am just used to climbing out of bed in the wee hours and starting work in my PJs by at least 5:30am. The 2nd story window by my desk usually has no visitors as the only window in the home adjacent is a glass block window to a neighbor's bathroom. No worries, right? Until the landlord of the neighboring house finally decided it's time to replace the roof without notifying...uhhmmm...us. Suddenly my every move has become quite public which made me realize a robe was in order. It is quite alarming when you look out of your 2nd and 3rd story windows and see groups of men working on a roof within 10 feet of where you are standing or sitting or sleeping.

But I am not writing about the irritation and invasion of privacy this created...that's a given and far to boring because we have all been there. What suddenly struck me was periodically I looked over to see them working as I too worked. Within 10 feet of each other we existed in 2 completely different worlds. They were in the sun, it was hot outside, and although they were often at the same height as I was, they were in harms' way, precariously balancing as they stripped away the old roof. And here I sat comfortably, focusing on my computer, reviewing files, feeling a stress of a different nature. I couldn't decide if I was in the fishbowl or if they were, but it made me truly see the juxtaposition of lives and how we co-exist so closely physically, not nearly taking the time to realize that end of a hard day of work perhaps we all need to yell, "Necessito cerveza!"

Do you know what makes her tick? Do you know her concerns in life? Do you care?

I am speaking out to dads and moms alike who have walked off the job!

We, as a society, have allowed this to perpetuate. Too many parents have now become disassociated with their kids, and we allow it. You pay enough money then you don't have to see them and yet it is nothing compared to the amount the other parent pays to raise the child.

But there lies the sad truth...we have equated the care and love of a child with money.

I grew up with a single mom, and now I am a single mom. I look at this picture and I think of my son and daughter...wondering how they hope to do it differently...how they hope to make their own lives. And I remember how I vowed I would do it differently, only to be left trying to hold all the balls in the air. When we're young we know better, and when we are older we get dealt the house of cards called "reality". But perhaps we need to change reality.

Divorce is a reality, but care of our children has gotten lost in the mix. When did following your own dream become mutually exclusive of taking care of the person you helped create?

I look at my kids...pretty awesome accomplishment if they let me in as  part of their journey! Just saying!

"Look, Mommy!"

Your child hands you a most amazing drawing, but you are biased.

"Look, Mommy!"

Your child does a most beautiful dance move, but you are biased.

"Look, Mom!"

Your child shows you creative skills beyond your wildest dreams. You are biased.

"Look, Mom!"

Your children show you their visions of the world...Your breath is taken away.

You are biased.

I just want to hold you close like I did when you were a baby...protected.

But you must share your visions with the world...unprotected. 

Our world needs to see new creations and new visions.

If not for those, we would become stagnant.

But I am biased.

You will be ridiculed and disregarded...Of that I am sure.

But if you share your creations...whether it be paintings, movies, photographs, designs, thoughts, song, dance...

If you strive to share your creations, however seemingly trivial to others, you will find a moment of happiness.

You will have moments of being poor and rich and sometimes both...Of that I am sure.

But from one who knows...no one can take away the few moments of happiness that creating grants you.

But I am biased.

Of that I am sure.

I am very unsure of how people are able to develop relationships in this technological age of texting and e-mailing versus having a live conversation. Having just embarked into the world of online dating, I am bewildered how we are expected to meet someone and get to know them through texts and online chats. Of course, then there is the daunting task of fitting a real conversation into the mix of life. Perhaps it is because I have a busy life already that texting would appear to be the best means of communication, but I know that texting is a dangerous way to communicate with someone I do not know. The true meaning of comments can be so easily lost or misconstrued. A simple attempt at comedy or sarcasm can come across to the reader as cruel or self-serving. Attempts at flattery or a compliment can be viewed as crazy or stalkerish.

Then there is the attempt to arrange a phone call "first date". Ever had one of these? Just setting one up in my life is becoming an achievement of mythical proportion. As a single, working mom, perhaps I should have put in my profile, "Virtually never available." That would get a lot of takers. It's not that I do not have downtime, but most of that time means there is a third party present or I am scrambling from place to place to "get things done" before I have to work again. Ah, excuses...excuses. Case in point, I struck up a conversation with a man on one site who seems nice. We have attempted to establish a time for us to talk on the phone; however, I am the person who keeps having to text, "Can we try a call later?" Now I am feeling guilty for "stringing" this guy along. How crazy is that? I don't even know the guy. So, I am slowly coming to realize that these new modes of establishing a connection with someone are very foreign to some of us...okay, me. And I guess a bigger question is, "Am I ready to make the effort and time to learn this new skill?"