Meet Spock. Spock is dead. Yes, in an effort to clean the fish tank, I once again killed off the marine life I was trying to help. I do this about every 3 years. No, I clean the fish tank more often than that. But it seems the fish get sick of me messing with them and just croak after about 3 years. Luckily, the kids are getting used to it. There is a definite advantage to the kids getting older....maybe I don't have to do this pet thing too much longer. Don't get me wrong. I love God's creatures...I just don't want to take care of them! Which leads me to the ponderance of the day...Independence.
It's July 3rd. It's been a long, hard day. I woke up sick with the stomach flu and struggled to get 8 hours of work in. I had wanted to go to the fire works on the Lake, but my daughter begged me to allow her to go to a dance class at a studio near our new home. Ironically, it is a studio I am all too familiar with. It is in the same building where I had my mortgage business for more than 10 years. In fact, my now 22 year old son attended a summer camp at the studio shortly after his sister was born.
I strayed up to the third floor of the building while my daughter attended intermediate hip hop. I came upon this door. A door that once had glass and the name of my business etched in it. I felt odd. It didn't seem to penetrate me. I remember so many events there but none of them even seem real anymore. I turned around and walked back down the hall. Ten years I had walked that hallway...bringing both my kids to and from work. Struggling to be an independent business woman. But I wasn't. I had a husband who demanded my time, a business partner who demanded my time, kids who demanded my time....
I walked that hallway slowly...running my hand along the wall. It was all such a distant memory. I had struggled for independence. I stood a moment, looked both ways down the hall. Today I am independent. Today I dictate my own future. If this were a Steven King novel I would definitely have seen my old self, ghost-like at the end of the hall. A meek self...one whom I remember had so much to learn. So, I walked to the elevators and said good-bye to the old self. It was a good ritual for Independence Day. Now...do a buy another fish or not?
RSS Feed