"What does she mean?" you may ask. "She's not in jail." This is true, I am not in the County Jail or imprisoned in the conventional sense of the word, but I am, nonetheless incarcerated. 6 year ago a very crabby old judge decided that my Ex's right to see his kids every other weekend trumped our freedom. When my son turned 18 four years ago, he won his freedom and got to move to Chicago. My daughter has four years to go; therefore, so do I.
Certainly my friends here do not understand my predicament. Afterall, many of them have grown up here, their families have grown up here, all their friends from grade school until now are here, and none of them have any intention to leave this state. However, I come from a long line of immigrants...it's in the family blood. Not only that, when you are told you cannot leave a place, the lack of freedom to control your own destiny feels squashed. When I learned I had to stay here until my daughter was 18, my heart sank and, yes, I cried...Again!
Certainly my friends here do not understand my predicament. Afterall, many of them have grown up here, their families have grown up here, all their friends from grade school until now are here, and none of them have any intention to leave this state. However, I come from a long line of immigrants...it's in the family blood. Not only that, when you are told you cannot leave a place, the lack of freedom to control your own destiny feels squashed. When I learned I had to stay here until my daughter was 18, my heart sank and, yes, I cried...Again!
Certainly I have better digs than this. In fact, this last move made me realize there is a place in this town I can actually see enjoying myself for the next 4 years. Had I only made this move sooner! But if there is one thing I have learned from the Universe and the Powers that Be...be flexible, listen, and wait for the signs. This, of course, goes against every fiber of my controlling self. So, for now, I have decided to sit back and try to enjoy incarceration...as a friend once recommended. Naturally, she lives on the West Coast in warmth all year round, but I will overlook that...until November when the snow flies.
All I can say is learn from one of my biggest mistakes...do not move away from your own family to be near your husband's family, especially if you have kids and it's out-of-state. Talk about being stuck. Well, tomorrow I plan on my first morning jog and plan on showing the positive side of this incarceration.
All I can say is learn from one of my biggest mistakes...do not move away from your own family to be near your husband's family, especially if you have kids and it's out-of-state. Talk about being stuck. Well, tomorrow I plan on my first morning jog and plan on showing the positive side of this incarceration.
RSS Feed