Day 50:
In hindsight, I have to laugh that today is the halfway mark of my challenge to be thankful. After such a pleasant, relaxing, rejuvenating weekend, what could possibly go wrong? Famous last words. The man upstairs appears to be in a devilish mood, leaving me grasping for a thankful thread...Only the thread I chose turned out to be like a loose thread on a sweater. I pulled and the whole damn thing came unraveled. I am thankful to still have the thread?
Without going into detail, let's just say my teenager returned to her role as defiant and certain I was the enemy for checking on her whereabouts after dark. Ah yes, and then the dear Ex swoops down as her friend, certain to affirm her suspicions that I am a crazy lunatic, emotional, unbalanced, blah, blah, blah.
Well, let's be honest, all of you who know me, know that to be true. I am emotional, crazy at times, and self-affirmed out-of-whack. Totally unreasonable and an absolute challenge to be around. Yup, let's put me back in the loony bin and throw away the key. Oh, but I must retort, I come from a whole batch of Loony Tunes...and I have to say, if I had my druthers, which I do, I am going to pick bonkers over the "I'm the sane, reasonable one" any day.
It is certain my kids will choose the path of least resistance. After all, if your dad gives you an expensive skateboard to bribe you to not do something self-destructive for a month versus the mom who punishes you for "doing that thing" by taking away your cell phone, computer, and IPad...hell, I'd chose the skateboard too. Mom is nuts, and Dad is the reasonable, sane one.
Unfortunately, this kind of distracted parenting has become the norm in our society as more children grow up with divorced parents. I feel sorry for my daughter who is trying to navigate her way through these teenage years and getting some very inconsistent feedback from her parents on her "questionable" choices. I wish that our spousal relationship and those battles remained in the past and did not cloud our choices when trying to help our kids grow up healthy and positive. My son confirms we are not the best parents. Well, that's disheartening to say the least. And like us, our kids will be certain they will do better than us as parents. Therein lies the horrid cyclical nature of life as I do believe my Ex and I were convinced we too would do a better job than our parents. Yes, you may all Laugh Out Loud at that one!
Oiy! So, the balance I sought from getting away kind of blew up in my face. I am taking a deep breath. "Give her space." You parents out there know for sure what comes next. "Mom is distant. She doesn't care about me. Mom doesn't do this....that...and the other thing for me." I have learned that I cannot win this battle with my daughter or the Ex. I can only do my best to be there for her when she needs me most, as unreasonable as that may sound. I can only hope what my mom tells me is true, "When your kids hit 40, they will like you again!" Thanks, Mom!
In hindsight, I have to laugh that today is the halfway mark of my challenge to be thankful. After such a pleasant, relaxing, rejuvenating weekend, what could possibly go wrong? Famous last words. The man upstairs appears to be in a devilish mood, leaving me grasping for a thankful thread...Only the thread I chose turned out to be like a loose thread on a sweater. I pulled and the whole damn thing came unraveled. I am thankful to still have the thread?
Without going into detail, let's just say my teenager returned to her role as defiant and certain I was the enemy for checking on her whereabouts after dark. Ah yes, and then the dear Ex swoops down as her friend, certain to affirm her suspicions that I am a crazy lunatic, emotional, unbalanced, blah, blah, blah.
Well, let's be honest, all of you who know me, know that to be true. I am emotional, crazy at times, and self-affirmed out-of-whack. Totally unreasonable and an absolute challenge to be around. Yup, let's put me back in the loony bin and throw away the key. Oh, but I must retort, I come from a whole batch of Loony Tunes...and I have to say, if I had my druthers, which I do, I am going to pick bonkers over the "I'm the sane, reasonable one" any day.
It is certain my kids will choose the path of least resistance. After all, if your dad gives you an expensive skateboard to bribe you to not do something self-destructive for a month versus the mom who punishes you for "doing that thing" by taking away your cell phone, computer, and IPad...hell, I'd chose the skateboard too. Mom is nuts, and Dad is the reasonable, sane one.
Unfortunately, this kind of distracted parenting has become the norm in our society as more children grow up with divorced parents. I feel sorry for my daughter who is trying to navigate her way through these teenage years and getting some very inconsistent feedback from her parents on her "questionable" choices. I wish that our spousal relationship and those battles remained in the past and did not cloud our choices when trying to help our kids grow up healthy and positive. My son confirms we are not the best parents. Well, that's disheartening to say the least. And like us, our kids will be certain they will do better than us as parents. Therein lies the horrid cyclical nature of life as I do believe my Ex and I were convinced we too would do a better job than our parents. Yes, you may all Laugh Out Loud at that one!
Oiy! So, the balance I sought from getting away kind of blew up in my face. I am taking a deep breath. "Give her space." You parents out there know for sure what comes next. "Mom is distant. She doesn't care about me. Mom doesn't do this....that...and the other thing for me." I have learned that I cannot win this battle with my daughter or the Ex. I can only do my best to be there for her when she needs me most, as unreasonable as that may sound. I can only hope what my mom tells me is true, "When your kids hit 40, they will like you again!" Thanks, Mom!
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