Today I heard a dear friend's father passed away. Having just turned 65, he accidentally fell off a roof. My friend and I had not been in touch for a couple of months, not out of any malice but out of letting our busy lives carry us in different directions. I felt unsure how to reach out to her but knew I had to. This woman was a strong support when I went through my breast cancer treatments and I knew I had to show support somehow, but what is the right thing to say? We have exchanged e-mails, me issuing forth my condolences and offers of support, and her somehow managing to e-mail how she was coping. The absolute sudden loss of a parent is unfathomable to me, and I have found myself in that sudden familiar place again of realizing how brief and uncontrollable our stay is on this earth. My friend's last e-mail concluded that she missed my humor, and that's when I realized how humor is the one thing that keeps us moving forward through these darkest hours. Ironically, another acquaintance just alerted me to the fact that he lost his mom a few weeks back. His last conversation with me also ended with the utterance, "If we can't laugh, there's just no point anymore." Of course in the face of death, tears flow, but then we get to remember the person who has departed. It is then we can slowly feel are lips form into a smile, thinking of how our lost loved one put a little extra light in our lives.
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