Like many sisters, my older sister and I have had our differences. Both being strong-willed, temperamental, creative types certain we are always right, we have clashed over the years. With an 8 year age difference there seemed very little for us to have in common. Here we are pictured as acolytes for an Episcopal chuch in Washington DC. My sister's love of the church grew very quickly during her late teens, and her passion blossomed into a desire to become a nun. My mother was beside herself, insisting my sister finish college first. She did, never losing that desire for the monastic life
So, the divorced parents, grandmother, brother, and sister convened at a secluded convent in the Baltimore area to celebrate my sister, Laura's, entry into the religious life. Yes, my sister had become a sister. But the tale doesn't stop there. My sister also had a passion for a certain nun. The late 70s were not an easy time for a young woman to come out of the closet and declare she was gay. Can you imagine being a lesbian nun who is having a fling with another nun? Okay, now we can all laugh about it because it really is a hoot, but in those days my sister's life was not an easy one. She and the special nun were sent packing and stayed together in the secular life for a time. The rest of us were pretty much scratching our heads going, "What just happened here?"
My sister delved into her life as if she was a newly freed caged bird. Our paths rarely crossed as she stayed living in Baltimore while my mom and I trekked to Santa Barbara. We grew close, then apart, sometimes not speaking for long periods of time, unsure how to communicate with one another. Laura had several long term relationships with some very, well let's just call them colorful characters. She then entered a relationship with a woman who appeared stable and good for Laura. They bought a home together and settled into a long life together. My sister grew her business as a successful historic restorationist and proceeded to rehab their old home.
In November 2012, Maryland finally made it legal for homosexual couples to marry. In the same month, my sister's life partner of 14 years left her for another woman. Isn't it funny how conservatives say that marriage is only for one man and one woman? Because the way I see it, gay couples have the same issues as any straight couples out there. Fear of commitment, trouble communicating, who's gonna do the dishes, who's going to pay this bill or that. Why should heterosexual couples have the corner on the misery, I mean happiness, that marriage brings? Well, the moving van came and took the remnants of this woman out of my sister's life. My sister refinanced the house in her name and has started her next journey in life.
Fortunately, last summer we got an opportunity to spend some time together in Maryland before all of this happened. Laura flew me and my daughter out for a long weekend, and it was divine. We searched for shark teeth in the Cheasapeake, ate fabulous crab cakes, and spent hours making jewelry while catching up on each other's lives. My daughter got to know her aunt, and I felt for possibly the first time in my life that I had a sister I could really hang out with. And now I really want to say how proud I am of her accomplishments and struggles in life.
Judging from this latest picture taken of my sister by my mom while visiting Santa Barbara, the break up has done her a world of good! She is already out in the dating world, getting her heart broken all over again. But damn it, she is looking fine doing it! So, Sis, knock em dead! You have struggled long and hard to get where you are. Now it's time you have someone in your life that appreciates that. Don't settle for anything less. I look forward to being part of the next chapter in your life.
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