Day 10: I am grateful to have had my years alone. I know, I haven't been completely alone...I have had my children to raise. But I have been without a partner now for 10 years. Time has flown by. When my ex left I attempted to date, only to find out the first two men I dated were both married. So, I quickly soured on the whole notion of dating. I devoted myself to raising my kids, keeping a roof over our heads, food on the table, later battling cancer. And now with the health problems subsiding, the kids growing up and leaving, it is time for me to figure out, "What next?" It is actually exciting, and I do not at all regret my time alone over the last decade. I have been fortunate to have time to be myself...to live without the mask of trying to please another person.
I started dating my ex-husband when I was 16 and he was 28. Yes, a dynamic frowned upon nowadays, but it was the 80s after all. As you can imagine, my identity got quickly intertwined in what my husband expected of me. I fought to maintain my self image but often found myself losing touch with the true me. It has honestly taken ten years for me to tear down the walls I built up and pry away the masks I had become accustomed to wearing.
I hope that now I will make a more true and honest partner to someone and will also be secure enough in my own identity to express my own desires and goals. I am looking forward to this next chapter because I finally feel comfortable in my own skin. I look forward to finding someone who is equally excited, comfortable, and self aware.
I started dating my ex-husband when I was 16 and he was 28. Yes, a dynamic frowned upon nowadays, but it was the 80s after all. As you can imagine, my identity got quickly intertwined in what my husband expected of me. I fought to maintain my self image but often found myself losing touch with the true me. It has honestly taken ten years for me to tear down the walls I built up and pry away the masks I had become accustomed to wearing.
I hope that now I will make a more true and honest partner to someone and will also be secure enough in my own identity to express my own desires and goals. I am looking forward to this next chapter because I finally feel comfortable in my own skin. I look forward to finding someone who is equally excited, comfortable, and self aware.
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